THE AIRSPEED VELOCITY OF GRATITUDE

365 Days of Thanksliving — Day 140

Today’s been all over the place, so for giggles, let’s get a bit silly and quirky.

“Answer me these questions three.” Can you name that movie reference? No, that’s not one of the actual questions—consider that the "pre-game" for your brain.

1. What’s ONE VITAL thing you know you can’t live without?

   
   

2. What’s one not entirely essential, yet kinda sorta “essential” thing you’d prefer to not go without?

   
   

3. What is the airspeed-velocity of an unladen swallow? (Say what? What you talk’n about, Willis?)

To answer that last one, we’d have to know the answer to another question: An African or European swallow? If you’re still stuck, just “Google it.” And if you haven’t seen the film it’s referring to, I have to ask: Where have you been hiding? Under a very large, very heavy shrubbery?

Just for hoot’s sake, drop your answers in the comments section below—Facebook, the blog, carrier pigeon, whatever works. Here are mine:

NO. 1 — God. I mean, yes, we all need food, water, and air, but in the total absence of those things, eternity awaits—and that’s a pretty solid backup plan. Even if all the H2O on planet earth dried up and the “Bridge of Death” appeared, we (Christians, that is) would still have the Water of Life to keep us nourished. (That’s Jesus, by the way. He’s kind of a big deal.)

NO. 3 — The Math. If you answered "European," you’re looking at roughly 11 meters per second, or approximately 24 miles per hour. If you’re betting on the African swallow, estimates place that unladen bird slightly faster at 29 mph. Did you check your work? I’d love to know how you arrived at your calculations. Me? I cheated. I used Google AI. Hahaha! (The machines are good for something, after all.)

But whoa, whoa, whoa… back up the truck. You noticed I skipped NO. 2, didn't you? I didn’t want to spoil the fun.

Now, perhaps you’re thinking my sick, twisted logic was going to head straight for the bathroom—specifically the product you need when you’re sprinting into the house to "blow up the loo." While that’s a fantastic guess, I already covered the wonders of TP back in Day 66.

Nope, this NO. 2 is far more essential to life than toilet paper—mostly because humans survived without the quilted stuff for centuries. (How? I have no idea. Leaves? Rocks? Let's not dwell on it.)

So, why all the silliness? Because sometimes we all need "bathroom reading material," and I figured this blog could suffice. But let’s get serious for a second. This isn't about TP; it’s about Laughter, and its high-maintenance cousin, Joy.

I truly believe a daily dose of laughter is required to keep one’s sanity intact. And didn't God design us that way? King Solomon, who by many accounts died a grumpy old fart, wrote:

“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.” — Proverbs 17:22

The old saying is true: Laughter is the best medicine. Probably because it's the only one without a terrifying list of side effects read by a fast-talking narrator. Tonight, I’m thanking the Father for the gift of a good guffaw. Without it, we’d all be a miserable bunch of "knights who say Ni."

If you’re needing a laugh tonight, do yourself a favor: stream Monty Python and the Holy Grail. It’s a bit irreverent and completely nonsensical, but it’ll have you rolling on the floor—provided you’re demented enough to let yourself go.

Anyway, what are you thankful for? Don’t forget—I want to see those "Questions Three" answers in the comments.

See ya tomorrow on the flip-side my friends!