ESCAPING THE ASYLUM

365 DAYS OF THANKSLIVING — DAY 167

Sometimes you just have to remind yourself how good you have it. Case in point: today.

Today’s adventure began early—well, for a Saturday, anyway. Danielle and I were on a mission. With the sitter all lined up and the puppy jazz playing in the background, we put Gus Gus and Arlo in their kennels and zipped out of town.

As we skedaddled eastward, Dani texted Izzy to let her know we were officially on the road, adding that we’d be back around six and offering up the frozen pizza in the downstairs freezer (425 degrees for 12 to 13 minutes, for the record).

Two and a half hours later, we arrived at that mecca of modern consumerism: Ridgedale Mall. Yup, we went to the mall. Boring, you say? Well, kind of.

You see, Danielle's hand-me-down laptop has been acting a bit manic lately, and my aging gaming rig has been seriously dragging its feet. While the old boy is still clunking along, the battery gets hot enough to fry an egg and only lasts about half an hour on a full charge. So, having successfully convinced ourselves that we desperately needed new tech, we set out to explore a couple of shiny new Macs—one for me and one for her, don't ya know.

Now, we could have easily clicked a few buttons online and avoided driving north into the insane asylum that is the Twin Cities. But when you want to touch, feel, and see the goods for yourself, you just have to accept the punishment.

I have to admit, I felt a bit lost in the zoo. It’s been a minute since we’ve braved a mall, and I honestly thought the place would be dead given what a gorgeous day it was outside. Nope. The joint was packed. Even so, it only took us a few minutes to navigate the crowds and find our destination.

The concierge dude welcomed us and pointed us toward a couple of employees who could help. I’ll be honest, the whole city vibe was a stark reminder of just how old-fashioned I am. I reside in the camp that you are who God made you, and the Lord doesn't make mistakes.

Lilly (whom I guessing was born “Billy”) took one look at us—perhaps sensing my small-town pastor energy and realizing I wasn't quite ready to play make-believe—and simply walked away without even a hello. Rude! Michelle, however, stepped right up and was absolutely fantastic. Within ten minutes or so, we were walking out of the store with our new tech.

Since we were already there, we scoped out a few more shops before grabbing a late lunch at the Cheesecake Factory. It sure was fancy in there; SpongeBob would have held his pinky good and high. The service was great, though it’s a bummer the food was only meh. But hey, we made off with some incredible-looking cheesecakes: raspberry lemon for me and tiramisu for Danielle. Sorry, not sorry. There's definitely not enough to share.

Being out and about on a Saturday, we opted to hit up the Sam’s Club in Shakopee instead of waiting to stop in Mankato. It’s a super nice store, by the way. The layout was a bit different, but we efficiently checked off our list and checked out. I was really hoping that was the finale, but my wife announced one final, non-negotiable stop. The java-juice monster had awakened, screaming for her eight-dollar cup of burnt beans and flavored cream over ice.

And that’s when we about lost our minds. Not at the Starbucks—getting in and out of there was a piece of cake. But trying to actually exit that shopping plaza was totally nuts! Around and around we drove in circles for what felt like ten minutes. That’s when Danielle looked over and said, to paraphrase, “Aren’t you glad we escaped all this all those years ago?” Yup!

Today was just another sharp reminder of how blessed we are to live where it’s peaceful and quiet, a place that hasn't been invaded by the chaos—at least, not yet. Thank you, Lord, for springing us from Crazy-town, USA. While rural living might not be for everyone, as I’ve alluded to before, the inmates in the asylum really don’t know what they’re missing.

What are you thankful for today?