THE 315 MILE DASH

365 Days of Thanksliving — Day 118

They say travel broadens the mind, but mostly, after 12 hours in a vehicle, it just narrows the patience. For Day 118, Danielle and I decided a 12-hour, 315-mile tour of Southern Minnesota was exactly what our Saturday needed. Mostly because, apparently, we don't like relaxing.

Our first strategic maneuver was a high-stakes insertion into Rochester to see my parents. We fueled up at Jersey Mike’s for lunch, which is practically haute cuisine compared to what could have been. Happily, the parents are healthy enough and in high spirits, which is genuinely the best part of the whole operation.

Before skipping town, we braved the Rochester Trader Joe’s, and honestly, that parking lot should be used for Navy tactical maneuver training. It is a chaotic, high-stakes game of Tetris where the prize is a bag of Mandarin Orange Chicken and your dignity. We survived, but only just.

Next, we executed a rapid manuever southwest to Austin, the proud land of Hormel and, more importantly, my Father-in-Law. The vibe there was classic Saturday afternoon: the Minnesota Twins game provided the melodic soundtrack on the radio while Danielle transformed the living room into a temporary barber shop. Her dad got a fresh trim, we caught up face-to-face, then we juiced up the car and our thirst for the two-hour cruise home.

Our route home took us against high winds and gas prices that make me want to check the blue-book value of my own shoes. We passed through Blooming Prairie, a place that always hits a little differently since my ancestors settled its land back in 1850. Someday I’m gonna drive past the farm and the acreage where they were all laid to rest.

By the time we hit Mankato, the "hangry" monster was real. We swung through Slim Chickens for supper and a much-needed tactical bladder drain, then proceeded to eat our sammies and fries in the moving car, which is truly the height of sophisticated dining. And hey, no spilled mayo or sauce on our shirts, which is always a win in my books.

The undisputed cherry on top was pulling into the driveway in Comfrey. Our welcoming committee, Gus Gus and Arlo, were waiting with that intense, kidney-beaning Boxer enthusiasm that practically vibrates the kitchen floor. We also owe a massive debt of gratitude to our neighbor girl, our designated K9 babysitter, who hung out with the boys all day so they didn't stage a mutiny in our absence.

In a world that is constantly "eventful" in the most exhausting ways, I will gladly take a long, tiring, "uneventful" day of family, haircuts, and miles. Tonight’s Thanksliving thought is simple: I’m grateful for the health of our parents, the resilience of our vehicle, the patience of a good neighbor, and the fact that we are home safe.