THE SIDE-DISH SLIP-UP

365 Days of Thanksliving — Day 324

Oh goodness, y’all. Have you ever grabbed one thing in the kitchen, completely convinced it was something else? Keep reading—I’ll explain.

You know the drill. I’m beating a familiar drum tonight. Yep, yep, yep, it’s more updates from the health journey. Sorry Charlie, but you’re getting another dose of it today, hopefully with a good laugh.

There we were in the kitchen making supper: smoky-grilled, locally raised pork chops as the main attraction, with a planned side of an itty-bitty, half-serving of copper-cut Italian penne. Doing my darndest to keep my daily carbs under 50, I calculated I could eat exactly 28 grams of penne (that’s about 20 pieces, folks) and keep my macros in check.

Fast forward fourteen minutes of indirect cooking on the chops. Right after I flipped them over to the B-side, my lovely wife dropped our respective pasta measurements into their pots. You scratching your head at that last part? You read it right. The wifey had a regular pot of boiling water going for her pasta, and I had the smallest saucepan in the house on a little burner just for my 20 precious penne noodles.

Eleven minutes later, the chops were resting and it was time to drain and season the sides. Danielle reached for the pesto, but a bottle of mowed grass isn’t my jam. I like to keep it simple: butter, garlic, salt, and parsley. So, as she was making her penne green, I drained my tiny serving of pasta, added a skosh of butter, grabbed that familiar cream-colored bottle with the red cap, and began to dash away.

Whoa! Wait. Something wasn’t right. My sniffer was telling me that wasn't garlic. ONION POWDER? Who in the heck grabbed the onion powder?

I instantly went into blame mode. “Dani! Why did you take down the onion powder? That’s twice now!” See, it was easy to blame her because she pulled this exact stunt a few years back—and she ain’t ever lived it down. Naturally, I assumed she’d made the same mistake.

The wife wasn’t having it tonight. “You did this one yourself, bucko!” After I thought about it, she was completely right. (SEE LADIES, MEN CAN ADMIT THEIR MISTAKES. Yes, I’m shouting in all caps. Intentionally. LOL.)

Welp, after owning my blunder, there was no way I was eating onion-powder pasta. I chucked that you know what in the trash, figuring it was just going to be a pure carnivore meal tonight. But then, I remembered: I’m not beholden to a rigid set of rules; I'm just working on shoveling in way less and learning to be satisfied with less.

What could I swap to satisfy that trash-ridden blunder? Right there in the cabinet, staring back at me, was a box of pita chip crackers. Same carbs, similar calories, a nice bit of crunch. BAM! Winner, winner, pork-chop dinner.

Despite the side-dish slip-up, supper wasn’t half bad—well, apart from my slightly overcooked pork chops. And to think I used to be a Mess Management Specialist in the Navy. Anyway... I digress.

What are you thankful for tonight?