A SPECKSTACULAR DAY

365 Days of Thanksliving — Day 236

Howdy, howdy TGIF’ers. Here’s to the weekend, eh? (We’re Canadian now, apparently). Seriously, I hope your Friday was as good as mine… at least, as good as it became once my eyes actually functioned. I’ll get to that in a sec.

So, because I know you demand the full play-by-play of my glamorous life, my morning started off a bit weird. I had another one of those odd cinematic dreams right as the sun was breaking over the horizon. The verdict is still out on this one; I’m not sure what to make of it. Like, is my pineal gland finally decalcified enough from quitting fluoride that I'm getting direct broadcasts now, or… was it some kind of “God dream?”

I’m still praying over this one while it’s totally swimming around in my pool noodle. I suppose I should write it down before it vanishes like a dandelion fluff in a hurricane.

Are you scratching your head yet, sighing, “Dude, just get on with it”? Okay, okay, calm down… you don’t need to sound like my wife already. I get enough of that at home.

Anywho, there I was, all cleaned up: the mutts were fed and I sat down to do my normal Friday routine stuff—like banging out Sunday’s sermon, because, you know, eternal souls and all. Kinda important. And while the boxer bunch boys only interrupted me twice (a modern miracle in itself), I managed to get a solid chunk done before I had to slam on the

brakes.

Two days ago, our optometrist alerted us that our new specks had finally arrived. Naturally, their office closes at 5:30 and treats weekends like the plague. Knowing that, we decided to take a half-day and make our Mankato run early. With a hard-stop at noon, we pottied the boys, chucked the cooler in the car, and sped away to Katosota.

Now, while I liked the frames I originally picked out, I like the final result even more. See, the colors we thought would look nice weren’t in, so the technician gal (Jordan) politely steered me toward a couple of different colors. And since my only real criteria is "make me look cool," I deferred to young Jordan’s superior fashion sense. These new ones are speckstacularly hip. What’s more, my wife’s new frames are quite cute, too.

But that wasn’t even the best part.

Knowing we were headed that way, I grabbed a handful of our old-old specks that were just collecting dust—prescriptions so outdated I was probably seeing into 2019 with them. (I figured we could donate those to folks who actually need them). Since we were playing delivery boy, I also grabbed my tragically snapped pair of old sunglasses. I guessed maybe they could salvage the lenses? But deep down in places I don't talk about at parties, I was really hoping they could just Frankenstein them into another set of frames.

When our technician sat us down, I handed her the busted shades and asked: “Do you have any frames these can fit in?” She pulled up her inventory, held up an index finger, and vanished. A minute later she reappeared with a brand new set of frames.

“They’re black,” she said. "Do you mind?"

Do I mind? I just want to see outside without wincing. I shook my head no. However, I mentioned I needed to check with the boss first: the Chief Financial Officer, Mrs. Money-pants herself.

“They’re $210,” the young gal said. Danielle, in her infinite mercy, gave the thumbs-up.

“Give me five minutes,” our tech replied, “just to make sure they actually fit. Let’s not have you pay for them just yet.” A few minutes later, she came back beaming. “Try them on.”

“Wowzers! I can see,” I blurted out in my usual “Just Jason” snark. And just like that, it was a modern-day optical Lazarus situation. My broken sunglasses were resurrected to new life.

While I truly dig my new regular specks (and, you know, safely operating a motor vehicle), I was overjoyed to have my sunglasses back. Honestly, I have the photic tolerance of a vampire when the sky is even minimally bright. For all these reasons, but especially the last, I feel hugely grateful today to the Lord. I feel like a spoiled kid who just got the exact toy he wanted.

Thank you, Heavenly Papa, for being so gracious and giving, and making this chunky-monkey smile.

Now, it’s 6:20, the oven is preheating, and we are getting ready to destroy our “take-n-bake” Pescara za-za from Green Mill. Num.

A slice of pizza, a cold Diet Coke, and our Apple TV sci-fi series… what a fantastic way to end a speckstacular day. What are you thankful for today?