IDK

365 Days of Thanksliving — Day 208

IDK..... That’s literally the title of this post right now. Gonna be super-honest; I’ve been sitting here in our family room, staring at a blinking cursor, and the cursor has been winning. Today’s been one of those days where the well feels completely dry.

Honestly, it’s just been a weird one. It’s Friday, and normally my sermon is done by now — like completely ready to go for Sunday. But as of now? Nope. On top of that, I started working on it a day earlier, and it’s still not finalized. That’s just not normal! My week has kinda been that way since Monday.

I’m sorry. I’m fussing, and fussing reveals an absence of gratitude. Well, it’s not just “like” an absence of gratitude; it is the nonappearance of thankfulness. Isn’t it good to know I’m as human as you, and sometimes just feel… blahhhhh.

In all seriousness, I know my life is full of blessings, but right now, they just aren’t making the journey from my head to my heart, or from my heart to this keyboard. Have you ever felt this way too?

Might sound strange, right? Most days something comes to me – like the heavens or the universe, the Holy Spirit or frankly some other person, reveals or says something that hits the gratitude button. But today, so far, nada – nothing – just don’t know.

Here’s what’s interesting. We’re (me and you, right?) nearly two-thirds of the way through this journey, and sometimes the reality of this daily commitment is that it becomes a discipline rather than an emotional high. Oftentimes, like the last few days, what I experienced or felt was a totally sweeping, joyful feeling. Today though, it’s more like a quiet, stubborn choice to just show up.

So… today, as of this exact moment, I’m thankful for God giving me the endurance to keep this going when inspiration is feeling a bit absent.

OKAY…. But just now, like a lightning bolt, it hit me. Drum Corps season is getting ready to kick off… and for this former band nerd, that’s like the kickoff of football season for all the jocks. Maybe I’ll write more about that tomorrow or the day after. For now, you can look up Drum Corps International (DCI.org) to see what this thing is.

For now, I’m gonna just end this post, thanking God for giving me the discipline to sit down and bang out hundreds of words every night. (It'd be a hoot to see how many so far… this might be long enough when all is said and done to fill a book. Wouldn’t that be a hoot?)

Goodness, that’s the “Just Jason” you’re accustomed to hearing. Not sure why I was feeling so dry, but I was. Sometimes, I guess that’s just par for the course… and life.

Father God, thank you for giving me that last bit of inspiration; yet added to that, thank you for giving me the chutzpah to bang out this blog every day. I thank you also for my readers, because without them, this project would seem for naught. Bless my friends this evening, inspiring them with something new and fresh to be thankful for also. In Jesus' name, Amen.